Figuring out whether you are ready to start dating again is a very challenging process. As a result, some people prefer to skip it altogether and jump from one relationship to another. Sure, it might help with the feelings of loneliness and sadness, but in most cases, it doesn’t end well.
After all, when you don’t give yourself the time to heal after getting out of a relationship, you are more likely to ignore any red flags. It’s quite an easy way to end up dating an abusive person who will try to take advantage of your vulnerable state.
So, how can you tell if you are emotionally ready to start dating again? Firstly, remember that being single isn’t something that you should feel ashamed of. In fact, it’s an excellent opportunity to pick up a new hobby or work on your social life and catch up with your friends and family!
Next, don’t ignore your feelings. If the thought of dating someone again feels overwhelming, it’s probably not the right time to find a new partner just yet. Instead, you might want to consider going to see a therapist to work through it all with the help of a qualified professional.
Still, if you want to figure some things out on your own, we prepared a list of simple questions that you can ask yourself to determine whether you’re ready to date again whether that be through a website or trying speed dating which may feel less pressurised. Take a look!
Can You Picture Your Future Without Your Ex-Partner?
Having been with someone for a long while, figuring out how to piece your life back together when that person is no longer in it might be tough. It gets even more challenging if you went through a divorce. If you are looking for specific advice on that topic, you might want to check out this top guide for dating after a divorce.
Anyway, if you are still unable to imagine what your life will look like in a few years or months, you should probably focus on yourself for the time being. It might be really tough, especially if both of you have already managed to plan a few months or even years ahead. Still, with enough time and patience, you will be back on track soon enough.
How Do You Feel about Meeting New People?
Imagine setting up a new dating profile on Tinder, chatting with your matches, and going out for dates. What does it make you feel? And are these emotions negative or positive? If the thought of meeting new people and a new relationship makes you feel excited, it’s safe to say that you’re ready to date again.
On the other hand, feeling bad about going out with someone other than your ex is a clear sign that you haven’t managed to get over your breakup just yet.
Do You Feel Happy Right Now?
You might think of a relationship as if it was an instant fix to all of your problems, from low self-esteem to feeling lonely. As a result, you might be really desperate to stop being single as soon as you possibly can.
The truth is that you couldn’t be more wrong. Sharing what’s troubling you with another person can be great, but they won’t magically solve your problems for you. So, if you aren’t feeling happy with your life right now, you’d better figure out what’s wrong and try to work on it all by yourself first.
Do You Want Your Ex Back?
Missing your ex is quite natural, especially if your relationship wasn’t necessarily a bad one. However, remember that dating after a breakup shouldn’t be about distracting yourself from the past. It should be based on wanting to build a new life together with someone that you have fallen in love with.
If you think that getting back together with your ex tomorrow would be best, you’re probably not ready for a new relationship. You will only end up hurting your new partner by either constantly comparing them to your ex or not showing them equal commitment.
Are You Ready to Be a Good Partner?
To create a healthy relationship with someone new, you have to let go of old doubts, pain, and anger. That way, you won’t project all of the fears that stem from your past relationships onto your new partner. After all, they aren’t your ex, and they aren’t bound to treat you the same way.
Next, work on your communication skills. Many relationships end because both sides weren’t able to properly express their needs and doubts. Working on that will make you more likely to have a long-lasting relationship in the future.
Have You Worked on Your Bad Habits?
Bad habits can be extremely detrimental to the long-term health of your relationship. Some of them, such as excessive drinking or drug abuse, can be more harmful than others.
If your bad habits contributed to your past relationship’s demise, you should definitely work on them by yourself first before getting into a new one. Bear in mind that even if you try to hide them, they will come to the surface eventually, whether you like it or not.
To sum up, post-breakup dating can be an extremely tricky thing to get into. Some relationships might take just a few weeks to get over, but some take entire years, especially if they lasted a very long time. However, keep in mind that there is no universal amount of time you should stay single after a breakup. It all varies depending on who you ask.
Many relationship experts actually compare the mental state of someone who has just gone through a breakup to the process of grieving. Everyone can work through it in their own specific way. So, even if you are told that you should have started dating months ago, choose to focus on your own feelings instead.
If you think you aren’t ready to move forward just yet, don’t beat yourself up over it and simply give yourself more time. If needed, try to work it all out with a therapist or a psychologist. And when you finally feel ready, you will be able to enter the dating world as the best possible version of yourself.