Building Healthy Relationships: A Woman’s Journey Through Mental Health

The post is developed in partnership with BetterHelp.

We all want those awesome relationships — the kind you see in movies where everything just seems to fall into place. But anyone in a real relationship knows they aren’t always picture-perfect. It takes work to build and maintain healthy relationships, and that work can be really tough when you’re also experiencing mental health challenges.

Think of it this way: Your mental health is the foundation you’re standing on. If that foundation is shaky, everything on top, including your relationships, can start to feel unsteady. Conversely, a strong mental health foundation helps you build strong, stable relationships. So, for many women, the key to healthy relationships is finding ways to boost their mental health.

Anxiety, Depression, and Your Love Life

Common mental health conditions like anxiety and depression can throw a wrench in the works of even the strongest relationships. Here’s why:

• Anxiety: The constant worry, fear, and racing thoughts that come with anxiety can make it hard to be present with your partner. You might have trouble trusting, letting go, or having those open and honest conversations that good relationships need.
• Depression: Depression can make you withdraw from people, even the ones you love the most. Everything, including keeping up with relationships, can feel heavy or take too much energy. A low or empty mood can make those little misunderstandings or conflicts within a relationship feel bigger or more painful.

The good news is that these conditions are treatable. Getting help is essential — for your well-being and your relationships. Therapy, medication, and self-care strategies can all help you manage anxiety and depression. Remember that it’s not a sign of weakness to seek support. It shows strength and courage.

Beyond the Fairytale: Real Relationships and Healthy Expectations

We hear it all the time. In TV shows, rom-coms, and even fairy tales, falling in love and finding “the one” is supposed to solve all your problems. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t work that way. Even the healthiest relationships come with challenges. 

Sometimes, those expectations from movies and media make us feel like we’re failing when things aren’t always picture-perfect. Real love means being imperfect together and being on the same team during those imperfect moments.

Think of relationships like a long car trip. Sometimes, it’s sunny, and the road is smooth. Other times, you hit traffic, unexpected potholes, or have to stop for gas. That bumpy road doesn’t mean the trip’s ruined. It means you adapt, support each other, and maybe even make those little inconveniences fun. Healthy relationships are like that. They take effort, commitment, and sometimes a good GPS (that’s where therapy can become your best friend!).

Let’s be honest, those movie couples? They don’t show the fights over who does the dishes, the anxieties about job changes, or the disagreements when life gets messy. It’s real people who build healthy relationships — people who choose to love each other even when it gets hard.

Self-Love: The Best Relationship Foundation

One of the biggest challenges for many women navigating relationships is a lack of solid self-love. Our ideas about who we are and what we deserve are shaped by many things, including how we were raised, past experiences, and even pop culture and social media. Unfortunately, those messages don’t always give us the tools to love ourselves as fully as we deserve.

What does this have to do with your relationships? It turns out a whole lot. If you find yourself in patterns of unhealthy or even toxic relationships, it might be time to do some serious work on your self-love game. Self-love is about things like:

• Setting boundaries: Setting boundaries means deciding what you will and won’t accept in relationships. Saying “no” and not feeling guilty about it can build confidence and earn you respect in the long run.
• Trusting yourself: Learning to listen to your inner voice and intuition means trusting your judgements. You’ll learn to stop second-guessing yourself, which can lead to healthier relationship choices.
• Seeing “red flags”: Self-love helps you recognise and avoid partners who aren’t supportive of you or bring out the worst in you. 

The Therapy Factor

Therapy can be a lifesaver and not just for your mental health. It can be transformational for your relationships as well. Therapy provides a safe space to process difficult emotions, understand your needs, and build healthier communication skills — all skills that directly impact how you exist in your relationships.

And then there’s couples therapy. Bringing those therapy skills into your relationship and addressing issues together can be powerful. A good therapist will help you and your partner break down unhealthy patterns and learn to communicate like actual human beings.

If traditional couples therapy isn’t immediately doable, podcasts can be a helpful first step (though they don’t replace actual therapy sessions). The best couples therapy podcast will tackle real issues with real people and give you practical tools for your relationship. Consider looking for podcasts hosted by actual therapists specialising in relationships. 

Finding Your Support System

The importance of support cannot be overstated. Whether it’s your therapist, supportive friends, a tight-knit family, or online communities, connecting with others with shared experiences is invaluable. These relationships can offer understanding, validation, and a sense of belonging.

Remember that seeking help for mental health issues is not a sign of weakness. It takes strength and courage to prioritize your well-being and reach out for support. Whether through therapy, self-care practices, or building healthy relationships, find what works best for you and continue to nurture yourself every step.

Building healthy relationships is possible, even when facing mental health challenges. Just remember it starts with you. Taking care of your mental and emotional well-being is the first (and probably toughest) step.

If you need help, don’t be afraid to contact a therapist or trusted loved one. You deserve love and support, especially in relationships. Unraveling years of unhealthy patterns often takes time and a lot of help. Be kind to yourself, and remember to celebrate the small victories along the way.

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